


Web of Lies

by Pugcifer



Series: Peter Parker Needs Sleep [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Minor Injuries, Secrets, Tired Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25541950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pugcifer/pseuds/Pugcifer
Summary: Peter knows better than to go out on a patrol when he’s this tired. It always leads to something awkward or bad happening. Like the time he stumbled through the front door of Aunt May’s house in full Spiderman garb. She did not believe he was into cosplay and found out he’s actually Spiderman. Or the time he ran into Deadpool and started waxing poetic about his ass in the suit, Deadpool reacted well but turned him down. Deadpool was dating Peter Parker at the time after all. Or the first time he fell into a dumpster. And the second time. And the third time when he met Hawkeye.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Peter Parker Needs Sleep [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884628
Comments: 13
Kudos: 354





	Web of Lies

Peter knows better than to go out on a patrol when he’s this tired. It always leads to something awkward or bad happening. Like the time he stumbled through the front door of Aunt May’s house in full spiderman garb. She did not believe he was into cosplay and found out he’s actually Spiderman. Or the time he ran into Deadpool and started waxing poetic about his ass in the latex, Deadpool reacted well but turned him down. Deadpool was dating Peter Parker at the time after all. Or the first time he fell into a dumpster. And the second time. And the third time when he met Hawkeye.

So, yes, he knows that this is a bad idea likely to end with him passed out in another dumpster. Yet he still pulls the mask on and jumps off the roof. The wind rushes through his hair as he swings down a side street which clears the clouds from his brain faster than any caffeine filled drink ever has. The feeling of clarity almost makes the night worth it. Almost.

Peter calls it a night around 5am, the sun just starting to light up the city, and heads home. Thoughts of crawling into bed are the only thing running through his mind. His body swings on autopilot and next thing Peter knows he is sliding into the window of the apartment he shares with Wade. Peter’s hand is halfway to his head to rip off the mask before his mind registers the gun pointed at his head.

“Stop right there, Spidey. What the fuck are you doing here?” Wade’s voice is low and threatening, the gun pointed at his head doesn’t waver. Somehow Peter has been able to keep his superhero life hidden from Wade during the past 2 years of dating and 6 months of living together. Peter lowers his hand and sweeps a gaze over Wade’s body. He’s got nothing but the Deadpool mask and a pair of batman pajama pants on. Exhaustion smacks Peter in the face and all he wants is to drag his shirtless boyfriend into bed to use him as a pillow. The Spiderman side of him screams to jump out the window and run away from this confrontation.

“Deadpool!” Peter forces more energy into the name than he thought possible. If anything his faked excitement sets Wade more on edge, “What a surprise seeing you here! I must have found the wrong window sill to stick to.” The spidey side of him is winning. Peter’s hand grabs for the window behind him and stills when Wade takes the safety off the gun. Peter is surprised it was on in the first place.

“Doubtful, Spidey, tell me the truth, why are you here.” The eyes on the mask narrow and Peter’s brain escapes the tension on a tangent about outfitting his suit with that feature. “Why do I find you, a superhero, in my boyfriend’s apartment? You here to threaten him? Did you finally decide that a morally grey teammate isn’t good enough for your unerring sense of goody two shoes-ness? You needed to go after the helpless humans before facing me Spider to Man?” Wade takes a step forward with each question and Peter frowns. His brain is too damn tired of keeping up with all of this.

“DP no, hell to the no way, I am not here to threaten you or anything of the like.” Peter sighed and debated just taking the mask off to be done with this.

“Well then why are you here? Are you here to see Peter? Did I catch you sneaking in to defile my baby boy?” Wade’s voice goes all high and shrill, the question too close to Wade’s insecurities in their relationship, and Peter is quick to reassure him that he is not cheating with himself. What even is his life...

“Wha-? No! Of course not, why would Peter cheat on you, DP?” Wade’s eyes remain narrowed and the gun up. Peter gulps and tries to find the best way out of this without spilling the beans. The idea springs to mind before Peter can think about it and rightfully veto it. “Listen, after you… turned me down the other month, I reached out to figure out who your SO was and wanted to give him a shovel talk. Make sure he doesn't like hurt you or anything.” Peter lets his head fall with the lie.

“So this was the night you decided to threaten Peter for dating me?” Skepticism thy name is Wade. Peter face palms and tries again.

“No, that was another time, long ago and in a galaxy far away,” Peter chuckles at his reference while Wade rolls his eyes, “and we kinda hit it off and became friends. After all, you got good taste, I get along with him almost as well as I do you.”

Peter knows the exact moment Wade believes him because the other man squeals in excitement and tosses the gun to the side to wrap Spiderman in a hug.

Peter’s eyes go wide and he watches the gun sail through the air before crashing into the coffee table. Time slows down as the gun lands and fires towards them. Wade already has his arms around Peter which makes it easy for Peter to twist them and take the bullet. Which is a stupid choice because he could have moved them _both_ out of the way instead. But Peter is tired, so he blames the mistake on that and the utter confusion of this entire conversation. Peter screams out and grabs onto Wade. Blinding pain shoots up his leg and Peter would have dropped to the ground if not for Wade holding him up.

“Fuck Spidey! Shit! Fuck, you have super healing right? We gotta get the bullet out cause it hurts like a bitch if you heal around it first. Trust me, way worse than a clean through shot.” Wade’s chatter keeps going but Peter can’t hear it around the pain. Sure, he gets shot a fair amount on the job, but those are mostly grazes thanks to his spidey senses. He tunes back in to hear Wade say, “Look just lean on me, we’ll get you to the couch. Peter will probably forgive us for the blood stains if it keeps your spandex covered ass alive.”

“Heh, yeah Peter, he won’t care. He hates that couch anyways.” The words come out bit by bit as he grits his teeth through the pain. Peter can’t find it in himself to care that he is talking in third person. He has more important things to focus on like the gaping hold in his leg.

“What do you mean he hates this couch? Did he tell you that?” Wade sounds scandalized so Peter waves his hand in a ‘forget about it’ fashion and tries to tune him out. Wade just keeps talking though and Peter thanks the stars for once that Wade has voices in his head to keep him company.  
The pain worsens as Wade starts to dig around the wound to pull the bullet out. Peter screams a little and tries to focus on Wade’s voice to keep from passing out.

“We bought this couch together, surely he would have mentioned hating it. It’s not like _I_ care about the couch we have, it was supposed to be his choice! He even pushed me towards this one instead of the badass Hello Kitty one we could have gotten! So much wasted potential, the blood would have even matched had we gotten that one.” He pauses, listening to a silent response. “I know, I know, Peter wanted an adult couch.”

Peter could guess what they were saying since they often went down the same path that _‘Maybe Peter was lying about wanting the couch’, ‘ If peter was lying about the couch, what else is he lying about’, ‘He must be lying about wanting you too, Wade._ ’ So on and so forth, beating apart all the work Peter has done to raise Wade’s self esteem.

Peter’s thoughts are confirmed when he looks up and Wade’s face has fallen, his constant rambling gone silent as he listens to the vindictive little shits in his head.

“Wade,” Peter says quietly. The other man has finished getting out the bullet and is just staring at it in his hand. “Wade, listen to me okay? Peter hates the couch because you shot yourself on it. Hates the reminder of that night every time he looks at it.”

“Why should I trust you? I didn’t even know you knew Peter until you broke into our apartment.” Wade whispers, too quiet for Peter’s liking from the normally boisterous man.

Peter takes a deep breath and reaches behind his head. He can’t remember why he didn’t tell Wade his identity before. He’s had so many opportunities to do so, both as Peter Parker and Spiderman. So why does it take being shot before he is ready to reveal himself? Aunt May would probably say something about fear of being rejected or self doubt but Peter decides not to focus on that tonight. Instead, he pulls the mask off and waits for Wade to notice.

It takes longer than he wanted, Wade is too far in his own head, so he finally reaches out to take the hand still holding the bullet. Tugging gently gets the effect he wants and he watches as the eyes on the mask go wide.

“Peter?” The fear is suddenly back alongside the desire to run out the window but Peter stays still as Wade’s hand comes up and hovers over his cheek. “You’re Spiderman?”

Peter just nods, too tired to do anything else, and leans into the hand.

“Guess you’re really not cheating on me huh, unless I guess you count masturbation between your two identities as cheating.” Wade chuckles and Peter has never been more happy to hear a joke about masturbation.

“I’d never cheat on you, Wade. I love you. Though I do hate this couch,” Peter laughs and if his eyes are a little wet then that is between him and Wade.

“The offer is still open to get that Hello Kitty one,” Wade says as he moves onto the couch fully. Peter cuddles into Wade and hums his agreement.

“Lets order it tomorrow. I just want to sleep now.” Peter closes his eyes and is half asleep when he feels Wade move again. He groans his disapproval which only gets a laugh from his partner.

“Come on Spidey, let's go to bed. I need to dream up all the spider jokes I can use starting tomorrow.” Wade sounds happier than he has since Peter got home as he carries Peter to the bedroom.

Once on the bed, Peter shuffles out of his spidey suit and slings his arm over Wade who has removed his mask. A blanket settles over him and Wade’s voice - working through a list of spider related pet names - lulls him to sleep.

Maybe patrolling while tired didn’t always end poorly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! This is my first posted fanfiction and I wrote it in a day (cause it is quite short). I am planning on expanding this AU a little bit to include the time Spiderman flirts with Deadpool and gets turned down cause I can not resist.
> 
> Also wanted to say thanks to my best friend ever for helping me edit this work among others!!!!!! You're the absolute best and I love you!


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